It’s Personal

Anxiety, depression, nervousness, hesitation, avoidance, indecision, fear, sadness, and grief are all connected. One will lead to the other, beginning a spiral down that some can never seem to escape.

“It is better for me to die than to live.”
“Why did I not die at birth, come forth from the womb, and expire?.”
“He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. He said, “I have had enough! Lord, take my life, for I’m no better than my fathers.”

Ever been here! I have! To the point that I’ve said I should never have been born. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble, drama, and stress. I felt like I was nothing but a problem to everyone. My chest hurt so much from the pain of my brokenness. Feeling the loss of my worth. Directionless in the desert with no hope of ever finding my way.

I’m still not out of the wilderness! Just in case you are wondering! (Forgive my exclamation points, trying to convey my emotions!)

Changing gears here because I need to explain how I found an oasis on my trek.

How long does it take nature to reclaim a parking lot? A day, a week, a month, a year… not just a tiny crack in the asphalt, the entire lot? How does it begin to reclaim what has been renewed for something else? What does it take to keep nature (the world) at bay, so the lot stays in good working condition and serviceable?

Maintenance. Anything that has been made new and clean has to be maintained. This includes our minds.

We take for granted that it’s (our mind) had a good “wash day” once a week, and that’s all it needs. We are bombarded daily with the world and the corrupt nature of an insane civilization. This is my opinion, especially when I see how things are progressing. Like, “HELLO, do you people not remember the previous 3+ great civilizations once they reached a state of horrid depravity. They got wiped off the face of the Earth.” Seriously Rome is a fantastic example, one we know well, and we know details of how it operated, yet we choose to follow in its footsteps, not looking, good people.

While I am not per se in charge of the government, I have a part to play. Personal Mental Maintenance! That’s right! Luke 11:24-26 tells of an unclean spirit removed from a person who, after roaming around, decides to check back in on his old haunts. Finding the shack(human) looking like a mansion, he grabs 7 of his buddies, the worse of the worse, and they all move in. Once the vacancy was clean up, it should have been occupied.

PMM (Personal Mental Maintenance)

P – it’s about you. It’s not about Nancy or Bob and what they did. You have no control over their actions, lives, or consequences because of how they live. It’s nobody else’s business either. Your right-hand doesn’t need to know what your left hand is doing. It’s between you and Jesus, not you and everyone you talk to at the grocery store.

Mental – your mind is the engine, the computer, calculator, file cabinet, and Google for your life. Your eyes are the lamp of your body. What your eyes see, your mind absorbs, whether good or bad. Your body/mind has five other senses to absorb information around it. Each one is unique in how it perceives and translates what it comes in contact with. These are always on, even in sleep, which means you’re still subconsciously absorbing the world around you even when you aren’t paying attention. So pay attention and purposefully know what you are surrounding yourself with. This includes people, environment, entertainment, leisure activities, everything, be intentional about what your mind is absorbing.

Maintenance – The process of maintaining or preserving someone or something. Much like a parking lot, Christians have been reclaimed from the world, made new for a purpose. Maintenance is required. Upkeep is required. Attention to the minor details and damage wrought by the world trying to reclaim what it has lost.
Daily devotions are equal to weed-eating. Fellowship with other Christians is equal to the leaf blower removing the sand. Prayer is equal to a new layer of tar, helping secure the borders and protect the pavement. Reading the Word fills in the potholes and cracks where the world has left its mark.

Anxiety, depression, nervousness, hesitation, avoidance, indecision, fear, sadness, and grief are all connected. One will lead to the other, beginning a spiral down that some can never seem to escape. These are all cracks, crevices, potholes, wear and tear of time that have never seen any repair. Left to deteriorate over time with no fortifications applied as needed, breakdown is imminent.

No one can make this choice for your that’s why it’s personal. No one can change your mind for you; that’s why it’s mental. No one can do it for you; this is your maintenance job. By ignoring the issue, you are not only telling yourself you aren’t worth the effort, but you are also telling the world that you agree you’re worthless. Jesus says I’m worth it. His life, death, and resurrection tell me I’m worth it. His continued love and involvement in my life tell me I’m worth it even when I’m a hard-headed brat. He says the same for you. You have to make the decision to agree with him or not. It’s Personal!

Verses referenced, quoted, or paraphrased above.
Luke 11:24-26
Jonah 4:3
Job 3:11
1 Kings 19:4
Matt 6:22-23

Note: Most parking lots are open to the public. They are driven on, walked on, played on, and beneath the notice of those using them. The hard work put into keeping them up is never noticed until it’s left to decay or abandoned altogether. The doormat of our society with an open invitation to travel where we please with ease, as long as upkeep is maintained.

Author: Holly Walker

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